Tuesday, October 30, 2007

The Silent War! Gosh I Hate Her!

I’m a “Peace” person. I love peace, I will not start a fight with anybody and if I can, I will avoid making any scene and obviously, I’m not a drama queen. Although, people at the airport always treat us like a ball, they kick us all around the airport before finally said that this is the right line (I hate Air Asia!) I still maintain my charming. But.. Now I have a war in the office. This is what I call the silent war and we don’t really talk (well… ). The war is between Kate and the rest of us (5 cute ladies). I don’t understand her, well we can say I kind of understand her problem but I absolutely do not understand her action. I was her friend and I did love her as a friend… Until she decides that she doesn’t need me as her friend anymore. She decides that our friendship is not important.. at least not as important as her “affair”. So, this is what happen, we walk away from this friendship. Like Lida said “Friend is NOT forever” and I felt like crying every time I think of it.

The Story Began..

We love hanging out together.. We jog together and sometimes we shop together. We enjoy our company and I used to tell her my little sad story and she was indeed a friend who always listens. Maybe this is her strength and her weakness. She always listens, people like telling her story and maybe so did our senior. But not all people had a good intention. This senior start to play around, he tried to touch her hand and talk “bad” words. She was so depressed, she cried and we decide if it became worst we will tell the big boss..

Then..

I don’t know how, that guy kept taking her time and she started to forget us, people around her. Or dared I said, friends around her. So, time consuming, she had no more time for us and the fact that both of them already married to someone else did not matter anymore. I remember asking her “are u OK now?” and she told me, it was nothing to worry. She told me the reason they are close (like a dove) is nothing but professional.. It’s a job thing! Well.. she look happier and fading away..

The Action..

Being a straight forward person, I told her that she is going too far but we end up, me being a speculative and bad person. They are “just a friend!” who like to talk.. a lot.. But.. He is the only friend she wants now. I was becoming invisible. Like a silhouette.. but I still love her, I was just so frustrated..

The Turning Point..

She kept give me reasons to back away. Her friends do not matter anymore, and series of broken promises started. I can’t handle it. She was not here anymore. She in her own world and I’m not part of it. She pushed us away. I hate her and I miss her but she obviously doesn’t.

The Result…

I’m starting to ignore her. We talk only when we need to. I know, I give up on her.. I should not do that to a friend but she was the one who started it. Friendship is not a one way highway; it takes two people to be friends. But, I would ever never imagine that she will do this to me, to us.. She boycotts us! She won’t talk to us.. she do her own thing now.. She stay away from us, she alienated us. She makes us her enemy.. Why? I can’t understand this! She is the one who makes the mistake. She is the one who disappointed us not the other way around.

What she thinks? We should understand her little love story? It’s not even cute! In fact I think it’s ugly. Who on earth will bless infidelity? She makes me sick! And truly I can’t imagine, a long time ago, she was my friend.. It seems so not real! I wish she disappear and OUT of my life.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Well.. I'm Back!

After some time, i feel like retired from blogging. I don't want to write publicly anymore. Well, I did write my own e-diary but somehow, i miss to write here. I need some place to express my thought freely and publicly. We all need our time, our space but i felt that being judgmental to yourself is not a good thing too. So I think that become anonymous i the right think to do. The problem is i love this blog, i love my blog.. what i have to do is delete all of my pictures here.. and I will.

Why is this blog so special? First of all, the color. It's just so bright and cheerful. I create it my self. Secondly, I love who I am. This is the event that happen to me, and I don't want to delete it. I mean, I did crazy of Mawi.. and once upon a time, i thought that Alexander is the best thing that happen to me. I did love him. One more thing, I still in love with Josh Groban. :)

So.. I'm here to be myself and to be anonymous (Funny theory right?) And I love you..