Monolog #1 and #2

I know I wrote less and less in my blog lately.. The reason is I had so many things to write but then I'm lazy to do it.. There were some events in my life that I think worth writing it down.. and I'm planning on doing it soon even though by the time I wrote it.. it will be already out of date.. but who care right? Anyway.. I'm kind of starting to write some monolog (talking to myself-ish) in my other 'playground' because of some problems I had with blogger.. But as I love my blog and this is actually my main 'playground'.. I'll paste it here as well.. ;-)

monolog #1

18-10-11

I’m in the boring seminar right now.. I want to escape but I can’t.. So.. again I’m doing a major thinking with myself… Lately I was thinking that life doesn’t have much meaning… Just bored all the way.. I want to escape it.. I just want something else.. I want a different path of my life.. I just keep thinking like this.. I read other people life.. The life that I wish to have but obviously I can’t.. Not even if I try.. I know I can’t have that kind of life.. I want a life of celebrity.. HAHAHA (I’m so crazy) I want to have a gamble life where I’m waiting for my chances to be recognized (Yhat’s why people invent fan fic.. to help people like me :PPPP)

Then.. there is a voice talking to me.. why are you not being grateful??? There are many unfortunate people out there and you are here, wishing your life to be different? You are looking at other people life and wishing it was yours? Are you sure you will be happier? What was I thinking? It’s true.. life is so short.. You will waste it by regretting things.. wake up and be grateful!

I will try my best then…

monolog #2

20-10-11

I was having a problem to login through my blogspot account when I’m using the netbook.. It leads me to write it here.. At first I thought it was google problem but then after a few days, I realized that it was my firefox problem since I can login when I’m using IE… However, I like to write it here so I’m thinking of doing it in both site…

Today again I’m in a seminar.. it getting interesting but me being me, I don’t take part much.. just listen and learn.. This might be useful in the future (well it suppose to)

Now, I’m still doing my own thinking (while listening to the seminar)… Suddenly it hits me… what exactly I want in my life? As things getting bored and bored.. a friend suggested to me to have some changes in my career.. Why not you try something else? Transfer to a different department, doing some different things.. get out of your comfort zone as I said to myself.. blow your bubble and walk through it!

But there are so many things to consider.. How about my friends? my office? what if I don’t like the new place? can I change back? What happen if I made a wrong decision? Will people welcome me? And after so many years.. why now? I need a strong reason. It is not like I’m doing nothing all this while to get this bored..

Then I realize.. I’m bored not because of my job.. I have so many things to do.. I’m bored not because of my friends around me.. I love them a lot and I like being with my friends.. I’m bored because I lack passion.. I’m bored because I always run from my problems.. I’m bored because I’m indecisive.. I need to wake up.. I need to revive my energy…

But.. urghh… again.. I’ll try my best..