Wednesday, December 12, 2007

I Need A Shoulder To Cry On..

Everyone need a shoulder to cry on...

Lately, I feel very lonely.. very sad.. and maybe depress.. i don't know. It just inside me , i feel it. Maybe it's because of the "things" that happen lately in my life or maybe because i have so many things to deal with.. or maybe it's the combination of all..

1. Friendships..
I lost a friend.. this is something that i never ever think would happen in my life.. I mean really lost a friend. Gone. It's hurt. I keep asking myself why? I know i shouldn't but i can't help this feeling. I feel so sad. I lost a friend that i used to love. I lost a friend who i can tell the weakness i feel inside of me. A friend who i thought understand me. I just feel sad and no way, i mean no way i can forgive her for everything she did to me.

2. Boy Friend?
I also think I just end up something that not really there. I just hate feeling cheated. I hate him for all the things that he didn't do and I'm angry to myself for not having more patient. I just had enough. I just can not pretend anymore. Enough is enough.

3. The Wedding..
Well, it was my younger brother wedding last week. I'm happy for him. No pretending.. I'm really happy for him but.. I think i have enough of his attitude of "Me against the World". I have no more energy to be a perfect sister. I just can not stand selfish anymore. Anyway, he clearly doesn't need me anymore. Sometimes i wonder suppose it be when you are happy, people around you should feel the same?

4. The Exams..
This is not really a problem. Maybe i just have too much anxiety.. too worried.. I have a fluctuated feeling.. sometimes i feel everything gonna be OK but sometimes i just feel what if I don't make it? I'm thinking too much into this..

I'm worried about many other things.. I'm worried about my work.. I'm worried about my health.. Sometimes I think I'm overly cautious of my health. I always afraid with so many things.. The previous problems keep haunting me. I don't know how to stop thinking and imagining something that not there.

I feel life is not fair.. I feel my problem is just stupid to be a problem. Maybe it's not a problem, it just me.. yes I'm overly thinking of everything... and now I can't sleep.. Right now, I feel like i have no shoulder to cry on. The one who I can tell everything and anything.. I need somebody that i can be weak.. somebody that i don't have to be strong.. Somebody that i just can cry my heart out. Somebody who would think that my stupid little problems is not so stupid after all..

But you can't get everything you want..

No comments: